On the Fear of Buying a Van
Category: yourchicfamilyDenial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross was ahead of her time when she established these five stages of purchasing a van.
There are three definites in family life: death, taxes, and the decision to buy—or not to buy—a van. And when that third definite faces us, we grieve—because fun has faded and function has become the driving force. “People buy vans for what they do,” said Matt Stone, executive editor of Motor Trend magazine. “When it comes to moving stuff and people, vans can’t be beat. But—they aren’t a Maserati.”
Gut-busting laughter exploded from the first friend I told about my decision to buy a van. “How are you going to pick up clients? You can’t go to lunch in a van!” came from another friend. I blamed the decision on my husband, who is practical. I was in denial. I was also angry.
I didn’t want to drive a van. I grew up in a van. Remember the movie “Little Miss Sunshine?” That was my family (the part about the van not working, that is…). In 1978, my parents bought an orange Volkswagon van with green racing stripes, and didn’t unload it until the early 90s. Toward the end of the van’s run, we never knew if it would start again once it stopped. One morning on the way to school, rather than pulling into my high school’s drop-off zone, Dad slowed down across the street, just slow enough for me to hop out without injury, and for him to make it through the traffic light in front of the school without stopping. I admit that I loved that van. It had character—but I didn’t want to drive it.
I started looking at other alternatives and entered the bargaining phase.
Did you know that even Maseratis come with the required LATCH (Lower Anchors and Tethers for Children) system? I could put two car seats in one of those—or in a Porsche or a Jaguar. Now those are sexy! But then there is the space issue.
“Once you are in a minivan and understand the value of the available space for daily use, the convenience level is so high that you just can not replace a minivan while your kids are still small,” said Eddie Okubo, Honda’s product planning manager. He’s right. A sports car can’t handle a COSTCO-sized shopping trip, a stroller, two car seats . . . And an SUV—even those that sit eight—doesn’t comfortably fit multiple car seats and extra adults.
Aside from space, there’s the green issue. I started to bargain with myself, trying to convince myself that I should buy a van rather than another SUV because it is better for the environment. I would sacrifice—Joan of Arc myself for the greater good—because vans are more fuel efficient and “greener” than SUVs (at least that’s what I’d heard on TV). A trip to www.greenercars.org confirmed this. Certainly a Prius is greener than a van, but a Prius didn’t fit my spacing needs. The SUVs that sat the same number of people as the vans, did not feature the same miles per gallon. The vans won in that category.
When I look back, I can pinpoint the bargaining phase as the point when I started favoring vans. But favoring isn’t accepting. Enter the depression stage.
Following the purchase, the salesman took a picture of me and my husband in front of the van. “Smile. You own a van,” he said as I tried to mask my horror. “I’ll e-mail you the picture, so you can send it to your friends,” he continued. Like hell, I thought.
And then I drove it. And I put two car seats and my in-laws in it. And I did some major damage at COSTCO with two kids and a stroller. And, well . . . I loved it.
That orange VW of my parents wasn’t what I considered cool at the time, but when we finally said goodbye to it, we were all sad. A chunk of the middle seat was still missing—my sister, born the year before the car—had cut her teeth, gnawing on the seat. The yellow curtains that Mom made—and Dad installed—to cool the pleather in the summer were still hanging. The memories of trips—and all the accompanying breakdowns—remain unforgettable. (Ask me about the time the heater broke, and we road for hours, bundled in sleeping bags, on our way to a ski trip.) That van also marked one of my earliest child-hood memories: Lying length-wise on that middle seat, stretching to make my feet hang off the end. The van measured my growth.
Charles Schnieber, Honda’s assistant manager of national advertising, was right when he said that “the ‘lack of cool’ perception is an unfortunate stigma that has saddled some practical family vehicles ever since the covered wagon was deemed less exciting than the sporty chariot.”
But then how cool am I anyway? I live in the suburbs with two kids, my husband, and now a van. Social events consist of soccer practices and games, and trips to COSTCO (yes, I’m obsessed with COSTCO—that’s another article). Not newsworthy stuff. My hope is that years from now, perhaps my kids will look back on our van, and smile when they think about all the fun it provided, and how that fun was the result of function and space, rather than coolness. And driving my clients to lunch? Well . . . I’d rather have a van that makes my wonderful family comfortable and happy, than a coupe that makes my clients think I’m “cool.”
Callie Oettinger is a mother, wife, daughter, friend, writer and publicist. Check out her work at www.o-a-inc.com.
Know why Chic Moms ride a little taller in their vans? It’s because these moms know they’re in the driver’s seat when it comes to having lots of:
- EXTRAS – These range from the high tech to the high end including leather seats. Among them are dual DVD players, satellite TV, wireless headphones, built-in power outlets, and more. These are certain to make any Chic Mom a hit with the kids and their dad and impress everyone at the tailgate party. Swivel captain chairs are a plus with grandma and grandpa. Outside detailing is also available. Would a few flames on the outside make a van a HOT choice?
- Safety – Count on lots of features such as all-around air bags, high impact safety, voice-activated navigation, drop down conversation mirror to help keep an eye on the kids.
- Space – They have three rows of seats with plenty of leg room and rear seats can be folded away for extra cargo storage.
- Height – A van provides contortion free access to ATMs. Try that from a Maserati! And, with a high profile there’s no worry about visibility in traffic.
If you like choices, there are certainly plenty of them. Here’s a brief rundown on what to expect with the top six rated vans on the market in 2008.
Honda Odyssey
Est. price: $25,000-41,000
MPG: 13-23
Safety: Car-like handling, good rating in front, side and rear impacts, antilock brakes, traction control, rear seat headrests, curtain side airbags standard.
The Buzz: Ranked No. 1 by most reviewers, high resale value, leather in deluxe models, highly reliable, third row seats fold into the floor.
http://automobiles.honda.com/odyssey/
Toyota Sienna
Est. price: $24,000-38,000
MPG: 16-23
Safety: Side air bags all rows, good rating for front and side impacts, front and side airbags all rows standard, tire-pressure monitoring system, traction control, all-wheel drive.
The Buzz: Handles like a sedan, rated reliable, split-folding, stowable seats.
http://www.toyota.com/sienna/
Dodge Caravan/Chrysler Town and Country
Est. price: $21,000-$27,000/$22,000-$36,000
MPG: 16-23
Safety: Six speed transmission available, side curtain airbags all three rows, self-leveling shocks, lower reliability and handling rating than Odyssey and Sienna.
The Buzz: Lots of options! Swivel n’Go seating including captain’s chairs, dual DVD players, Sirius satellite TV, wireless headphones, built-in power outlets, 20-GB hard drive for MP3s, voice-activated navigation, drop down conversation mirror. The main difference is that the Caravan has sportier styling.
http://www.dodge.com/en/2008/grand_caravan/
Hyundai Entourage
Est. price: $23,000-30,000
MPG: mixed driving average is 18
Safety: Rated top safety pick by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety
The Buzz: A trade-off in comfort and styling has been made for increased safety and low price.
http://www.hyundaiusa.com/vehicle/Entourage/entourage.aspx
Kia Sedona
Est. price: $20,000-27,000
MPG: mixed driving average is 18
Safety: Rated top safety pick by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety
The Buzz: Finalist 2007 Motor Trend Car of Year (first time for a minivan), 60/40 folding third row seats. A trade-off in comfort and styling has been made increased safety and low price.
http://www.kia.com/sedona/index.php
I Am Not an Athlete – Or am I?
Category: health
I am not an athlete. I’m just a mom who is trying to take care of herself, OK, and wants to look good, too. I figured out a long time ago that exercise serves two main purposes in my life: 1.) It allows me to eat – a lot; and 2.) It lifts my spirits in an obvious way. So, I decided that it was worth it to make it a part of my life.
I am a little embarrassed to say that I was a pack a day smoker for 10 years. I started smoking in high school, and by age 16, I was hooked. Hence, athletics was not my strong point. Throughout college, my smoking habit prevailed. I occasionally took an aerobics class or went for a long walk… But really, lounging on the couch, dancing with my friends and walking to classes was about as active as it got.
Then I got married – to someone very athletic. Go figure? However, his athletic drive was tucked away for a long time because of insane work hours. I knew the smoking must come to an end. He really didn’t like it, and I saw that it was time to grow up and take responsibility for my health. But it was a long, hard road. After a few years of on again off again quitting, I started walking – up hills. I was disgusted by the fact that at age 28, I could barely breathe! Here I was, a healthy young woman married to a great guy, and I was wasting the greatest blessing ever bestowed on me – my health. So I kept walking up bigger hills, and then bigger hills – sometimes twice a day– until finally, cigarettes lost their appeal.
We then took up biking, and my husband’s athletic side re-emerged. We found something we could do that brought nothing but health and happiness to our lives. In the process of walking and cycling, I lost the 30 or so pounds that crept up over those long years of hedonism. Deep down, I still believed that I was the same high school and college kid whose natural tendency was to be unathletic. But I kept riding and having fun anyway and even raced a few time trials.
Then we entered the world of parenting. We had our beautiful daughter and then our darling son and biking took a long hiatus from my life. I missed it – the deep breaths you take when you’re riding up hills, the fresh air, and the sore, tired muscles after a 50 mile ride. Most of all, I missed the enormous amounts of food that I was able to consume without gaining an ounce. So, I started walking again, and that turned into running. I found that I didn’t like running as much, but it sort of reminded me of that old biking feeling – fresh air, deep breaths, tired muscles…
To motivate myself, I signed up for a nice, flat half marathon. That way, when I was tempted to stop my runs, I would remind myself that the half marathon was only a few weeks away. After it was over, I went right back to my old sluggish ways telling myself, “I don’t feel like it. How ‘bout a glass of wine? One cig won’t do me in…” So, to save myself, I signed up for another event – a half marathon with Team in Training (www.teamintraining.org). The leader convinced me to do the full marathon since I had already done a half. I thought, “ME? A full marathon? Come on.” And wouldn’t you know, I crossed the finish line of my first marathon in a respectable time.
I remember when I used to meet people who had completed marathons or exercised competitively and think, “WOW, now there’s an ATHLETE. I could never do that!” There was such an aura of mystique that I created around them. I am here to tell you that you can join the ranks of those who have completed amazing athletic challenges – no matter who you are or what you have done in the past. There is no mystique. There is only hard work. Believe me, my natural tendency – the girl who inside who I don’t ever want to lose – likes to just, well, hang out. So I’ll just keep on being her, and challenge myself to the next event that allows me to feel strong and healthy, and to eat whatever I want!
Chic Mom Magazine Podcast – Episode 2
Category: Inspiration CornerIn episode 2 of the Chic Mom Magazine Podcast, Darcy Plunkett Interviews Dr. Bethany Casarjian, a clinical psychologist and author from Boston, Massachusetts. Dr. Casarjian is clinical director of the National Emotional Literacy Project for Youth At Risk, and co-author of the book, Mommy Mantras: Affirmations & Insights to Keep You from Losing Your Mind. She is also a mom of three!
Click here to listen to the Full Podcast of Episode 2 now »
(Or right-click and choose “Save Link As…” to download the mp3 to enjoy at your leisure)
Mom? WOW!
Category: beautyWe welcome Dana W. to Chic Mom Magazine! Dana has been married to Greg for 17 years and has two boys, aged 15 and 11. She has primarily been a stay at home mom since her oldest was born accepting a few part time jobs over the years, the most recent being as a crossing guard for school children. Dana has a degree in nursing and is an RN.
Dana’s heartfelt letter to Chic Mom expressed a desire to be “40 and Fabulous!” She has willingly and happily devoted the past 17 years to her family, and now feels that she has time to work towards some personal aspirations. As we all know we can emerge from the vacuum of parenting and realize, “YIKES! Am I out of style or WHAT? Where do I begin?” The show ‘What Not to Wear’ should be mandatory for all of us. Needless to say, Dana was putty in our hands as the stylists and aestheticians completely changed her look.
All Aveda products were used on Dana. The first big change was her hair. Dana has been wearing her hair long for many years. The stylist, Lacy, advised a mid neck cut with volume at the crown and long bangs to complement her triangular facial shape. Five inches came off. She was given warm, golden highlights to lessen underlying pink skin tones and make her blue eyes pop out.
Dana’s face was then transformed with a brow wax and updated concealors and tinted moisturizer. The make up artist used a bronzer rather than blush and finished off her new look with a great Aveda lipstick called Hot Pepper and Mango Juice gloss.
As the day went on, Dana was so enthused about the advice and wonderful attention she received. We talked about what touches her in Chic Mom Magazine. Dana has been thinking a lot lately about her clarinet and old friends. She played clarinet for many years as a child, and then gave it up. She has been trying to ignore the images of her clarinet popping up in her head, or her lips trying to remember what they felt like around the reed. By the end of the day, we both agreed that it is NOT a waste of time to listen to our souls – which is what is telling her to pick up her clarinet. She may only do it for 15 minutes a day and it may lead to nothing – except a better ability to pay attention to important parts of her that are longing to be expressed.
Amidst life in a fairly new city and raising two boys, Dana has a lot of acquaintances, but it is time to reconnect with an old friend – someone who is easy to be with, whom she can laugh out loud with and spill her guts to. By the time we left, she was planning a call to this dear friend to plant the seeds about a weekend getaway. Remember your souls, ladies! Let them soar.
