Think you can’t pull it together? You CAN!

For all of our married life, it was my ex that did most of the cooking and for ALL of the holidays. My literal “Soup to Nuts Nazi” NEVER consulted with me on menu and pretty much banned me from the kitchen (“Why did I give him the boot, you ask???”).

My Thanksgiving holiday role was as “staff” and party planner meant that I was responsible for issuing the invites through clean up (all the while stoking the fireplace, pumping enough heat, and throwing blankets on my 70+ year old father, up from Florida visiting the New Jersey Tundra).

These days as a single mom, when I’m not just a pretty hostess-gift-toting-guest, without the benefit of a resident chef/cook, I actually manage to get my cooking done AND entertain AND clean up — it’s really all about planning, and I must confess, “I get by with a little help from my friends.”

I haven’t included any recipes (email me for any requests), but I think I’ve devised a pretty well organized week-by-week Thanksgiving event. The key is to LISTS:

A shopping list AND the what sometimes seems like the never ending ToDo list.

WEEK 1 (Nov. 9th — 15th)

1. Confirm your guest count. (There’s usually at least one stray so count up.)
2. Travel, lodging arrangements for out-of-towners.
3. Choose your recipes. Try http://www.epicurious.com/recipesmenus/holidays/thanksgiving/recipes, or celebrations.com http://www.celebrations.com/thanksgiving-ideas.
4. Divie up the side dishes, desserts, etc. among your guests. Have specifics or even your own recipes to share.
5. Make your shopping list. (Check your pantry before buying yet another box of rosemary.) Buy containers, more foil, collect small shopping bags for leftovers and care packages.

TIP: Go light on hor d’oeurves. It’s going to be a big meal.

WEEK 2 (Nov. 16th — 22nd)

1. Table: Count dishes, utensils, glasses (tumblers and wine), platters, covered dishes, tablecloth, and napkins (while you’re at it toss the stained linens!)
2. Confirm your guest count.
3. Got enough chairs? Need an extra table? A large coffee maker? Borrow.
4. Shop early even though you’re bound to go running back for something — it’s just the way.

WEEK of Thanksgiving (Nov 23rd — 25th)

Don’t forget to defrost turkey! Here are some quick guidelines for thawing! http://www.fsis.usda.gov/factsheets/Lets_Talk_Turkey/index.asp

MONDAY:

1. Decor — order flowers, centerpiece, or create your own with tea light candles, fall leaves, brightly colored corn and gourds! By the way, don’t feel obligated to turn everything into orange and brown.
2. Prepare the side dishes that can be frozen and thawed day of.

DAD TIP: Make him a ToDo list and tape it to the bathroom mirror.

TUESDAY:

1. Run back to the store TODAY for any last minute ingredients. Pick up ice if you have an extra freezer.
2. Prepare baked desserts before — pies, cookies…
3. Shlep the extra chairs and table up from the basement or garage (wipe them down well before unless cobwebs are part of your decor!)

WEDNESDAY:

1. Set the table
2. Prepare drink bar: ice bucket, cocktail napkins, plastic (for the kids)
3. A Buffet? Consider the traffic flow; plates first, bundle utensils w/ napkins, appropriate serving utensils
4. Pick up any orders from the baker, the grocer, the candlestick maker
5. Make sure the turkey is thawing well!
6. Prepare your stuffing but do NOT stuff the bird until you’re cooking it TOMORROW!
7. Set your alarm clock for 6AM.

TURKEY DAY!

1. Get the turkey in the oven! Follow packaging instructions for timing and your own, your mother-in-law’s, friend’s, in my case, ex-husband’s best recipe. The turkey is the easiest to cook. Make sure you allow at least an hour after cooking for it to arrive at room temp. Remove the stuffing and refrigerate!
2. Defrost or prepare your side dishes that require cooking.
3. Now that you have about 2′x2′ more room in your fridge chill the white wine, beer and soft drinks (or, weather permitting, put outside.)
4. Salad. You can actually prepare this early and place in the fridge if there’s any room. Place a dampened paper towel on top to keep crisp.
5. Plate the desserts and prep the coffee and tea pot.
6. Don’t forget the cranberry sauce!

CLEAN UP TIME!

Generally I’m cleaning as I cook and all’s pretty tidy – for a while. Before anyone arrives the dishwasher gets emptied, the garbage bag gets replaced, and my counters are clear of most everything and ready for the stacks of dirty dinner dishes.

Any pots or pans that are used to cook right before serving go in the sink to soak and soak, and soak.

While everyone is digesting your sumptuous meal get the dishwasher loaded with dinnerware and run it.

Pack up the leftovers.

TIP: Don’t kill yourself cleaning every last crumb. Put away the food and get the dishwasher loaded. Tomorrow’s another day of a long weekend. (And maybe, just maybe if you decide to sleep in on Friday you might get lucky – “someone” else might tidy up the rest.)

KID TIPS:

1. Let the kids help you bake BUT if it’s too hectic to have them around the kitchen let them create the placemats. www.babycenter.com
2. Have them pre-select some games to play in another room while the adults are schmoozing before dinner or dessert.
3. Put out their clothes in the morning.
4. Get the kid’s involved in serving the guests. They can take coats, help with the younger kids, …

Lest we forget, Thanksgiving is about giving thanks for having family and friends to love and enjoy, a roof over our heads, food on our tables, for every effort we make towards peace everywhere.

FYI: My ex and I have sat at one another’s table more than once. He’s suggested recipes, intervened when the gravy got gloppy. I give thanks that we remain very good friends and that our son Jake reaps the benefit of having two very loving parents who both, now, know how to celebrate!