Homework is a child’s responsibility, so we need to be careful how much we help. We want to be aware of what our children are doing and be involved in helpful ways, but not do too much for them. One thing we can do is to avoid the word “we,” since it implies that homework is our responsibility. Instead, say, “When are you going to do your homework?” If children are having problems, figure out why and try to resolve the root cause: If children have difficulty focusing, plan homework time based on your child’s needs. If your child needs to burn off steam before... (Read More ...)

Most parents will attend a family gathering at some point in the near future. Many will also endure a chronically negative or critical relative. You know who I mean. Every family seems to have at least one; that person we avoid all year long but have to see occasionally because we’re related. If you don’t have a relative like this, count your blessings — then look at your workplace or neighborhood. You probably have someone in your life that fits this bill. However we know this person, we need a plan for keeping our sanity and self-esteem intact when we’re around these toxic people. Why... (Read More ...)

My 8 year old is afraid to go upstairs by himself. When he does, he runs down the hallway so fast, and down the stairs even faster, that I am afraid he is going to hurt himself. He does not want to sleep by himself in his room because of this fear. Answer: When parents see children scaring themselves like this, they naturally want to reassure the children that there is no reason to be afraid. This is a tough sell to scared children. So many parents become a hero that conjures up some magical solution that saves the child from being afraid. Others tell the child it’s just their imagination and... (Read More ...)

There is only one “First Love” in each of our lives. Do you remember yours? Even though it may be far in the past, most of us can still feel the excitement of that first crush. We can even feel butterflies in our stomach just thinking about that special puppy love. We usually smile when thinking about it, even though it ended, because it wasn’t “real” love. We file it away in our memory banks with the logical level-headedness only boring old adults can attain. So when our children experience their first crush, we recognize it as puppy love, a passing crush that most likely will end. Some... (Read More ...)

 Question: Sometimes I see parents who act like they are more of a friend to their child than a parent. Their close relationship seems to be a positive thing, but I wonder if it could cause problems later. Is there a problem with being friends with your child? When is a parent crossing the line? Answer: There is no problem when parents occasionally play with their children or share common interests. There is also no problem when parents treat their children in friend-ly ways, out of basic respect. There is problem, however, when parents become equals with their children and become more peer than... (Read More ...)