Many of us marched into 2010 with a list of New Years resolutions and great ambitions for a better, stronger year. However, statistics show that New Years resolutions rarely hold up past 60-90 days. I hope that many of you took the time to read and make a plan for your new year from my January post, “Time For A Fresh Start.“ Even with a great plan, what do we do when things begin to slip? As we near the end of the first month of this year, it’s possible that you are already veering off course. If so, read on.

I am SO blessed that I get the chance to meet and speak with so many women all over this great country. It still amazes me how giving and kind we are to each other. As women, we are able to forgive so much for so many. I have met women who have encountered some of lifes most devastating obstacles and turned them into a gift. When we are able to do such miraculous things for others, some we don’t even know, why is it so hard for us to be tolerant with ourselves and expect so much from every moment of every day?  Why is our standard for ourselves somewhere above perfection and everyone else lands at a mere average benchmark?  As women we are so hard on ourselves. My grandmothers use to always say, “Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.” It used to be one of those pause moments in my childhood trying to figure out what the heck she was talking about. Now from an adult perspective, I can see it so much more clearly.

Very often we get off to a rip-roaring start just to have lifes million and one details throw us off track. Instead of giving ourselves the TLC we give EVERYONE else, we throw in the towel and go back to the comfort-zone of our old ways…whether they were working for us or not. One of my main points in “Time For A Fresh Start” was to find the team member in your life that would help you stay on point/track. I bet that many of you made your list and checked it twice but did not give finding the Champion to help you much thought. Like most women, we believe we can do everything on our own and can’t imagine “bothering” anyone to help mentor you in your goals. It may seem like some kind of burden or weakness, right? Not so! Now here you are, finding yourself overwhelmed with the New Year, baggage from last year, and doing much, much more with far less. Having a Champion can help you see all the great things that have been put in play, the things that are moving in the right direction, and help strengthen your plans and action. Most importantly, your Champion can help you forgive yourself and them give yourself the much needed TLC we seem to only have for others. This will refill your mental and emotional fuel tank and fire you up to roar into month two of this new year! You can’t accomplish anything if you are running on empty.

For all that we do each and every day as women,  forget to give you and your fellow sisters a hug, wink, or an At-A-Girl. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. Ask for the helping hand…. we all will give it Be kind to yourself for all true love can only be given in its strongest form IF you have found self love first. And never ever forget that together we are stronger and more powerful than we will ever be apart. No one understands “US” better than “US!”

Sending Super smiles to all my Sisters,
Amilya

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Destiny cannot be stolen, but it can be abandoned.

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Get Ready. Get Set. NOW GO!

Bring on 2010! Like almost everyone I have spoken with, 2009 was a tough year all the way around. So I think everyone is looking forward to starting “a new” in 2010. The good news is EVERYONE is starting fresh with the New Year. The past is behind us… there’s nothing we can do about what has already happened. We have 100% control over what happens RIGHT NOW. Better yet we have an amazing team of other Chic Mom’s right here ready to cheer us on to get more out of this year than ever before. What I know for sure is we are more powerful and successful together than we ever are alone. So grab a fellow sister and let’s do some of the hard work to ensure that we have a AMAZING year. There will be some sweat, some tears, and some “ouch,” but the good news is we will grow, find doors open you never thought possible, and learn a thing or two about yourself and those around you. Maybe even something that not even in your wildest imagination did you think could happen.

There is an old saying that says, “The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over “thinking” you will get different results.” The BIG question is what are you going to do different this year? Identifying what “does not and has not worked for you last year ” is not a quick slam dunk process.  Ask any of my mentees how hard it was to peel back the onion and label the things that no longer work in their lives and you will get a resounding, “Man, that was tough!” Ask yourself these questions:

1) What were the three main “ouch points” last year? Example: Went too far out on a limb with debt. Said yes to more things than any human has time to devote to. Did not set and enforce clear boundaries and guidelines for myself and others.

2) Which behaviors/actions/choices of yours contributed to the “ouch?” Note: You can’t correct what you don’t own. We all make choices each day and it’s the small choices that go unnoticed or get overlooked that push us onto a course that afterward cause us to ask, “How did I get here?”

3) What are the three things you would love to change/improve about your lifestyle?

Now, WRITE these Questions and Answers down and post them where you can see them every day. I have what must be a zillion sticky notes on my bathroom mirror, changing dresser, refrigerator, and more to help me stay on point to the goals I have made for myself. You need a STRONG sense of self in order to do the million other things we all do in a day and for all those who depend on us. Your time, energy, and commitment to YOU is NOT selfish, it’s exactly the opposite. It is the giving to self that allows you to give to others. Take away one… poof! The other collapses.

Now that you have a good view of where you might have gone off track before, how you helped that path materialize, and a snap shot of what you really want, let’s find the champions that are going to help you.

Who is in your life or on your team that you can rely on? Not enough names… stay tuned we’ll talk more about “team-building” this quarter.

With your list of names, write next to each one what they are good at? Planning? Organizing? Motivation? Numbers? What?

Now ask each of them to help you very specifically, it should go something like this:

I have made a commitment to myself that I will bring more____________________ into my life. Part of my ideal lifestyle is to live with more _______________ in my life. I believe you can help me by specifically (doing what?) _________________________ and reminding me that I can do this for myself, that in doing this for myself I am moving closer to achieving my goals. I help of the people in my life when I keep me and my goals in the picture. I need to make little daily choices to move me to what  I really want. Please help me be the eyes and ears I need to keep me focused on this one thing.

Finding key words for your champions to use will help you know when they are helping, for example; As one who has agreed to be your champion to help you get closer to a lifestyle of __________________________ , I notice that what you just did/said/chose might not be moving you in the right direction. What can I do to help you right at this moment?

These words are just a rough general template to help you create your own words and guidelines so you can ask those around you to help you in a language that feels helpful and not condescending or negative.

My point is this, each and every goal I set for myself I make sure I have a buddy to help me. We think through the goal, make sure it’s realistic, define how I am going to make small daily choices while taking small steps to get there. The best part of this is knowing that I am amking progress toward living the life I want.

2010 is going to be an AWESOME year! Why? Because we are going to make it an AWESOME year. Never forget that every step you take (forward or back) is a step we are all taking. Together all things are possible! I love being a WOMAN and I love my fellow sisters!

I walk proud because you walk with me. Here is to an AWESOME 2010!  Go girls Go
Amilya

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The power to move closer to, or farther away from your goals all begins with your first thought of the day!

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Picture frames – Kids love arts and crafts. My family and friends love to receive them. Buttons, pipe cleaners, beads, sparkles and other do-dad’s like earrings that can be taken apart and other junk jewelry that no longer can be worn make the best arts and crafts projects that you can find at dollar stores, craft stores and garage sales.

Use hot glue gun or child proof glue (depending on ages) and let them decorate inexpensive picture frames. Home Depot and other stores have workshops that kids can come on and make their own frame (and other cool projects). I picked up over a dozen cheap or damaged frames at the GoodWill store. Place all the goodies in the middle of the table and let the kids (and you) create a gift to be remembered.

Don’t forget:

-          Frames can be damaged, scratched or worn (they are going to be decorated anyway)
-          Take a picture of them creating the frame
-          Have the kids sign and date the frame

Wish or Memory Boxes

I love to have my friends and family (kids too) create a wish or memory box. It’s a great gift to start for someone. My dear friend just lost her mom. Having lost my mom when I was very young I know the pain that comes with this tragic event. I have created for her a memory box. I have gathered pictures, her mom’s favorite recipes, flowers, scents, places she visited, a piece of her favorite dress and more and put them all onto a box and shellacked it. It’s now is a beautiful glossy box of precious memories. Inside the box I put letters and quotes from all of us (family and friends) who knew her mom and what she meant to us, taught us or shared with us that has made us better people. I can’t wait to see her face on Christmas morning… well I will see if a her husband snaps a photo!

Gratitude Slips, Notes to self, and Dream Catching Journals make amazing gifts. 

Anyone who knows me knows that keeping a journal is something that is as much a part of me as breathing. I keep journals for all kinds of things. When working toward a goal, to keep me grounded and grateful, or to just keep a record of all the amazing things, people, and events that take place in my life. So many people have a tough time getting started so help them out. Buy a journal and give them a starter sentence, paragraph or goal to get them thinking. This will be a gift that will come back around years later and give again! Journals, letter writing and stationary are still some of my favorite things to give and receive.

The things you really want in a “Honey-Do” list

We all love that our better half tries to give us the things and gifts that we want. So often the mind reading gene is not working at full capacity. Many years ago I started making a honey-do list for the men in my life. The list is categorized by the reaction the item will trigger from me. You should be doing – Thank you – Very Happy – OMG! I don’t know what to say!

Listing the things that I would love to have done, receive or just an extra set of hands to lighten the load are broken down into these “reaction” categories. This way when my son unloads the dishwasher he already knows it’s in a category that says “ it’s what you should be doing.” This helps clarify why I am not jumping up and down that he figured out he is just as capable of putting the dishes away as I am. However when her cleans the inside and outside of my car without me asking I am “very happy” and the reaction matches what he was hoping to achieve.

Holiday’s are a great time to make your list and check it twice so that those around you can be directed to a place (list) where they can pick items that will help you and know to what degree you will be touched. For me a Saturday sleep in weighs far greater to me than flowers. My list tells me so!

I hope you have the happiest holiday ever and the new year is beaming with opportunity!
Amilya

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You must refill your buckets, and recharge your batteries in order to continue to do all the things we all do each day. Its ok to let others help you with the heavy lifting.

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It doesn’t matter what your religious affiliation is, this time of the year, most people reflect and think about simpler times gone by. We are so inundated by marketing and advertising that before the magical day even gets here, we are sick and tired of hearing about another great sale or must have item

Like many of you, 2009 kicked my butt in a myriad of ways. Family members are battling health issues, we made a cross country move, promises were broken, goals were missed, and that little financial crisis? Well, that knocked the wind out of all of us. So now what?

I’ll take one big deep breath, lay a solid plan on how to get the best out of this holiday season, and a looking at things through a fresh “new” set of eyes, I will choose to see and take in what’s all around me and let that fuel me to LIVE the reason for this amazing time of year.

How, you ask? I have already called a family and friends meeting. The people in my life crack up when I call these little get togethers to share an announcement or other important piece of information . These next few weeks I’m going to focus on a simpler space and time. Here are some of the things that will help me be a better person this holiday season; or my 1 2 3’s for getting back to basics and “living “ this season

1) Gifts will be simple and made with love, things such as: picture frames, wish boxes, journals, photo albums, honey-do and girlfriend coupons, talent exchange gifts, and simple baked goods of my all time favorites; cookies, fudge, hot chocolates, and homemade marshmallows.

2) A Christmas tree that will bring back the old time flare – Popcorn stings, bow tying, and pictures of times gone by that warm the heart. The little ones are making construction paper chains and pipe cleaner twists for the tree. I’ve printed pictures of my son’s first time in the snow, my grandmother serving her favorite cookies, my first pet, my favorite place in the world, and others that will add magic to my tree. These treasures along with my kid’s handmade crafts will remind me and everyone that visits, that this year is about the true gifts in our lives; Family, friends, memories, and an inner peace that we all need right now.

3) Nothing does more to heal the soul than the act of giving. The most precious thing you have is your time so spend just a little with those you know may be having a difficult time this holiday season. Remember those you know that lost a loved one this year and reach out to schedule time for coffee or tea. Make time to share a part of you with them.

4) My grandmother always said,  “Many hands make light work.” This year I am putting that into play.  I am not cooking, decorating or entertaining solo. It will be friends sharing and a house-hopping holiday. Everything from table settings to desserts were listed for all our house-hopping friends and put into a hat. Each of us drew a card (Christmas Eve, Christmas day, Italian Fest dinner party) Each of us take one task per event in the day to enjoy more and work less.

5) Each of us are making a gratitude board. We will share this with our families and friends on Christmas Eve.  It’s amazing how many things I have found that there is a visual representation for of the things I am so very grateful for

6) Adding a game – nothing lightens up the mood and creates a more casual environment than games. Bring game time back into the holidays.  Kids love, love, love to play games with the adults. My son blew us all away when he was 9 and beat everyone at Pictionary.  Find some old favorites, some new brainteasers, and make some memories that are far more valuable than anything money could by.

Next week I’m posting specifics for the ideas I’ve listed above Check back and put some of these super easy, very inexpensive ideas to work for you this holiday season. Be sure to let me know how much fun you had doing them and better yet, how much the people who received the gifts loved them!

Last but not least, my favorite thing I have done for so many years is home for the holidays. Opening my home to a soldier who cannot go home for the holiday has always opened my heart and filled our home with such love and gratitude. Communities all offer ways to reach out and give your time from visiting senior centers, children and folks in local hospitals, and other groups that help feed families in need during this time. Its not how much you give, its that you give what you can – donations, time, or just a note of thought.

I have met so many people this year that have made me a better person. Those of you that comment, share a thought, and send your own tips and tricks – Thank you! Every word that comes back to me is read and cherished.

I wish you all a healthy happy holiday filled with LOVE.

Amilya

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Take a chance and let people amaze you!

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Material things will come and go but friendships are for a lifetime. ~ Happy Thanksgiving ~

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I left you last week asking for your holiday survival tips and promised to give you a few more of mine. I know your time in precious so let’s get to a few more ideas to help you enjoy your holiday season!

Gifts – I am a book NUT and I love sharing my favorite reads with others. From the best business books, soul searching books and pure escape to another world books. I find that picking one of my favorite books with a personal message or lesson learn lesson passed. Is a gift that keeps on giving. I have several books that has made its way around my networking group and each of us has shared out comments within. Each holiday I cant wait to see who gets the book next. A gift that continues to keep giving.

Since many of us are familiar with drawing a name out of a hat for gift exchange our little family twist is not to far of a stretch. Our family and friends each add our name to a hat ( family hat and our friend groups) and 3 things we would like that does not include a purchase. Here is what my list brought me last year

1)     A night out without having to plan for the kids – I received a weekend babysitter

2)     A garage overhaul – My son and his buddies did an amazing job with a garage sale and reorganizing.

3)     New stationary look – My girlfriend created note cards and stickies for me and I just love them. She is much more creative on her MAC than I am.

My kids do the same. They list things that they would like to do or go do/see. Even though these activities cost some money, it forces them to think beyond just an item to purchase and create an experience that they truly look forward to. My son loves football so anytime we can rally the troops for a day at the park for an intense game of flag football (young against old .. funny to watch), rock climbing or exploring a new destintion this gift ends up giving to us all.

Since my son is older we ask that he give a gift of his time back to our community. He has chosen to work serving a hot meal, visiting the elderly, or doing some chores for those in need. These kind of “gifts” always seem to do more for us as  family that for the person receiving the gift. 

Someone once said, “The greatest gift you can give anyone is your time.” I find this to be so very true. This holiday season we are focusing on giving “time” and our attention to the wonderful people around us. 

Share your holiday survival tips, too!

From my heart to yours….

Amilya

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